This day two years ago we were getting ready to meet Dixie for the very first time.
We left early in the morning, dropped off Maisy at her Aunties house and headed to the hospital for my planned Caesarean.
I was a bag of emotions. Excited, scared, nervous and full of anticipation. I was 37 weeks & 4 days.
This hadn’t been in my plan. An early evacuation. A section. But sometimes things are just out of your control. Simple as that.
I had found out at 26 weeks that I had gestational diabetes. Huge shock. I had regular scans and appointments throughout the rest of my pregnancy.
At my final growth scan, a day short of 36 weeks, I was told my Dixie was small. In four weeks she had gained less than a pound.
And to add to everything. Dixie was breech!
I went back a week later for another scan. She hadn’t gained any weight and was still very comfy in a breech position.
The decision was made there and then that she needed to come out. And soon. I was given a choice of dates for the following week to have my section. It was kind of surreal, like I was choosing a date to get my hair done…!
I chose a date five days later.
Those five days went in a haze. I re-packed my hospital bag with tiny baby clothes and big pants! I made arrangements for Maisy to stay with my parents and daddy L arranged to take a day or two off work.
Then here we were. Tuesday 3rd June. My soon to be born princesses birthday.
At the hospital we were talked through everything. I hadn’t been able to have the steroids to help Dixies lungs due to the diabetes so we knew there was a small chance she might have difficulty breathing.
A cot was made available in NICU (just in case) and in a blur of drugs and adrenaline, I was laid in theatre with numb legs, a shaking body and two doctors rummaging around in my uterus!
10.19am. Time stopped still as we heard Dixie cry for the first time. She was checked over right away. No problems breathing! Phew! She was cleaned & weighed and our 4lb 10oz bundle of gorgeousness was handed to us.
She had this crazy top gum that was really prominent. And a teeny chin. Her hair was stuck up with a flash of blonde through the dark mess. And she was so tiny. Like a doll.
I will never forget our first hours. Our first day. Smiling as I watched Daddy L fumbling around trying to dress our teeny girl in her first baby vest and sleepsuit that were miles too big.
I will never forget that first day as I watched my biggest girl kiss and cuddle her baby sister for the first time. That first day proud grandparents held Dixie without any underlying worry.
Before the doctor found the first sign all was not well. A heart murmur at a day old.
Before I was oblivious to what the future would hold.
Before I had to become an expert on Trisomy 9 Mosaic.
Before I became my daughters carer as well as her mummy.
Fast forward two years and my goodness what a ride.
Two years of uncertainty, and of worry.
Two years of learning a new way of living.
But two years of a joy I never even knew existed.
My beautiful 21lb bundle of crazy hair and long limbs is finally two.
In some ways I feel like those two years have been the longest of my life, and that I can’t imagine our little world being any other way. In other ways it only feels like minutes ago that I held her for the first time!
I know Dixie has many more hurdles to face in the coming years, and we will be right beside her.
We love you Miss Dixie! Happy birthday 🎂🎉🎈